Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Bernard Baruch
Traveling has given me insight on life and the assurance that there is more to life, and more to learn. Throughout my culinary career, I have had the opportunity to work in the States and abroad with an array of chefs, cooks and mentors that has shaped the cook that I am today. I have a hard time calling myself a chef, because in absolution I believe that is only respectively given to an individual that is the head (boss woman/boss man) of a professional kitchen. All in all, whether it be a chef or cooking in a professional kitchen, we are cooks. Disregard the ego, it’s about the craft, because in actuality it’s the fervor for cooking and the delight in sharing and bringing people together through it.
There are somewhat skewed misconceptions about cooking for a living and being in the industry. Expectations will not always meet reality. As a young cook, coming straight out of culinary school, I believed that the restaurant industry would be about the same as what I had learned from school, and I soon found out it was not. You learn how to work harder, faster and more efficiently. You make mistakes, you slice your finger open, you get scalding hot grease flowing down your arm to save a sheet pan full of hot protein from falling, you get burned literally and figuratively. You keep going. You taste a bit of humble pie. If you want to feel humbled and get your two feet grounded, experience a professional kitchen, whether it be causal or fine dining. There is an idea to the general public that cooking as a chef or line cook is similar to the movies, or like Food Network;basking in the glamorous lime light. The reality is, in a professional kitchen, there are cooks that are on their feet for 8-12+ hours straight, over a hot stove, in a hot kitchen, hustling to bring inventory (some back breaking) into the walk-in, from cargo trucks; no breaks, just setting up/prepping for service “mise en place” (breakfast/lunch/dinner), and then once service ends scrubs down the whole kitchen top to bottom…and for some reason still have that adrenaline rush, wide awake.
Many people question why a dish is so expensive, disregarding the quality of ingredients put into a dish and the labor that it takes to make each dish on the menu. Cooks do not have a laissez-faire work day, it can be being the first one to work and the last one out, it’s hustling all day everyday, literal blood, sweat, and tears.. if you want to go into the walk in and cool off. You build resiliency, a tough skin, a backbone, all things that do not require you to feel emotions, at best ignore your emotions. But it’s okay to not be okay.
I wanted to create this post because mental health is an important thing. It is not something that should be taboo, ignored, ridiculed or be ashamed of. Cooking professionally has taught me a lot, aside from honing the craft, it also taught me about being confident, staying humble, and just keeping my two feet on the ground. It’s helped me evolve, meeting the greatest people, chefs, cooks, mentors in the trade; opening my mind and my palate. When you realize the mortality of life, you appreciate your life more and your self-worth. Although I enjoyed cooking day in and day out in a restaurant, at the end of the day I wanted to feel emotions again. I wanted to not feel like a zombie by putting myself on autopilot, being passive-aggressive, saying ‘yes’ to everything. I realized that although I was doing what I love, I wasn’t doing what I wanted, which is cooking my own food, with my own voice.
I’m venturing into making cooking videos on Youtube, inspired by my Filipino heritage. Please Subscribe, launching October 2019: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcBwwkp29wahJXfwf8AV7VA/about
It’s been a process, but has somewhat been therapy for me to get out of the pessimistic funk that I once had, and find joy.
When you realize your own path, whether it be unconventional, accepted or not, it is your own path to follow, no one else. So, be unapologetically you. Face your fears, because time keeps going whether you like it or not, it’s up to you to control your future.
Evolve and Cook freely, my friends.
*Side Note: When you eat at a restaurant please thank the chefs, cooks, and dishwashers. Gratitude is timeless.
Change of Taste 